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Poetry by 91816119

Poetry by IrrevocableFate

Writing by Meggie272


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Submitted on
October 30, 2012
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I.

She braved the marigold patch
once a week
a decision all claimed was wise

You're lost
this will set things straight
he will be your guide

II.

There was a narrow path
less marigolds grew there
the apartment awaited
at the end of the path
its owner grew to be a friend

Over lemonade
they discussed possibilities
new beginnings
how lovely
how wonderful
it is to trust each other
as friends (except deeper)
as equals (except closer)
against the backdrop
of such a chaotic world

III.

Some weeks later
blinded by the harsh sun
she dared not look down
a hand skimmed her thigh

On her way home
the marigolds burned her eyes
like fire
as an odd feeling swept over
worm-like
it crawled through

It's just the sun in my eyes
just the fog in my head
that made time stop
and voices disappear

IV.

Marigolds again.

She picked one
mindlessly ripping
each petal

Familiar doors opened
his blond hair created a halo
lit just so
smiling
I'm so glad you came

The worms slithered further
fingers crossed
silent prayers were uttered

V.

Her weight felt heavy
solidly pressed down
on the couch
the sunflower pattern
branded her exposed skin

The worm smiled
rearing its ugly head
the halo winked
so self-assured
A hand picked marigold petals from her hair

VI.

She braved the marigold patch
once a week
a decision all claimed was wise
My second entry for Word-Smiths [link] Colors Contest [link]

Third DLD on December 31st , 2012:
[link]

:)
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:iconjikivigoig:
jikivigoig Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2013
This is so well done, and terribly sad. The writing is beautiful. I love the metaphors you used; they're so original. I caught the meaning on the first read, but it's subtle, and I think this makes it more emotional when you realise what the poem is about. Congrats on the DLD, you definitely deserved it. (:
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:iconfadingreverie:
fadingreverie Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2013  Student Writer
Thank you so much for the awesome feedback and the :+fav: , really made my day.

I'm glad you caught the meaning, some people didn't really like/get the subtlety in this one...
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:iconmeggie272:
Meggie272 Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
This is very intriguing and very well done. The story it tells is sad and disturbing, but you avoided melodrama and used sunny golden marigolds as a motif, which makes the tale of abuse seem more... real, less dramatised, and more hard-hitting because of this.
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:iconfadingreverie:
fadingreverie Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2013  Student Writer
Thanks!It's great to know that this could read as something real...I was afraid this topic might not come out so well on paper.
Anyway thank you for the wonderful feedback and the :+fav: :)
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:iconexistencewesummonyou:
Congratulations on the well deserved DLD! Silverinkblot was right about this being subtle, I didn't catch what was going on until a second reading, but I think that subtly makes it all the more emotionally evocative. A very good, very well-structured poem.
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:iconfadingreverie:
fadingreverie Featured By Owner Dec 31, 2012  Student Writer
Thanks for stopping by and giving feedback :) I'm glad you liked this poem.
Reply
:icondailylitdeviations:
DailyLitDeviations Featured By Owner Dec 30, 2012
Your wonderful literary work has been chosen to be featured by DLD (Daily Literature Deviations) in a news article that can be found here [link]
Be sure to check out the other artists featured and show your support by :+fav:ing the News Article.

Keep writing and keep creating.
Reply
:iconsilverinkblot:
SilverInkblot Featured By Owner Dec 28, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Hi there! Just a note to let you know I've featured this piece in my 2012 showcase of literature: [link] :D
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:iconfadingreverie:
fadingreverie Featured By Owner Dec 29, 2012  Student Writer
I see you also added it to your collection for "Suggested DLD" :woohoo:
Thanks again :hug:
Reply
:iconsilverinkblot:
SilverInkblot Featured By Owner Dec 29, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I did indeed :)
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